Where's the parenting manual?

I've experienced plenty of challenges through my 11 years of fatherhood. But, there is no doubt though that the good has far outweighed the bad. After completing a 5k road race with my So recently, one of the things I realized I struggle with the most really has nothing to do with my Son, but rather with me.

I hope I can safely say that all parents want the very best for their kids. As parents, we've experienced things that we want to share with our kids so that we can share that sense of accomplishment or feeling of elation that goes along with the experience.

My 11-year Son and I have done several road races together, all in the 3 - 4 mile range. I'm extremely proud of each one of them and very grateful that it is something we can do together. However, in every single race, I have an internal struggle of how much to push and how much to back off. Depending on the race distance and how much training he's done, he'll want to walk for portions of the race. In most cases I tell him "we'll go at your pace buddy" and "you can walk whenever you feel like it". Inside though, I'm torn up trying to figure out how much to push and tell him to dig through the aches and pains he might be feeling, versus when to just let him go at his own pace.

I'm sure there are some who will read this and think, the kid's 11! Why push him at all! Maybe others think I should tell him not to walk at all and just find a way to deal with the pain.

I believe in the power of sport and competition for kids, when it has the healthy support of the parents and the adults involved in guiding the kids (as opposed to the parents that get thrown out of the crowd for harassing the officials). I think the social lessons of teamwork, and the internal lessons of goal setting and motivation are uniquely ingrained into the brain through sport and competition. As a parent, part of my role is to push him when he needs pushing, sometimes letting him fail when there may be a lesson to learn, and sometimes supporting him before he does fall.

And therein lies my struggle.

In which situations do you apply each role? I know there is no right answer, and I suppose that is part of the lessons we learn as parents. We need to struggle and fail as parents sometimes to learn how to be better parents. However, sometimes I think it would be nice if someone could write a step-by-step guide that is given to you as you leave the hospital.

A tale of two races (Part II)

I did everything I could to recover from my Saturday race. I used The Stick, stayed off my feet most of the day, took a nap and even took a hot bath with some fancy bath salts that my wife had. I don't know what I was expecting to feel like but my muscles still felt pretty beat up from the intense Saturday effort.

It was an early start to the day when I woke up at 2 a.m. and couldn't get back to sleep. My alarm went off at 4 a.m. but my eyes were already open as I lay in bed. After a traditional pre-race breakfast of Green Goodness and protein powder, my family and I were out the door and arrived in South Berwick right at 5 when transition was supposed to open.

Pre-race was pretty laid back. I had a sweet transition area spot at the end of a rack leaving plenty of room for my gear. I had enough time to catch up with the other GSTC'ers racing, Dave and Tom, along with a few other folks I knew from the local tri-scene.

The Swim
After a first place age group swim the previous day I was definitely confident at the swim start. Probably too confident. Instead of going out strong and steady I red-lined for the first 100 yards and found myself hyper-ventilating. After laying off the effort for about 15 seconds and regaining my composure I went back out and finished the swim strong. I ended up 7th out of the water in my age group but pretty sure I lost a couple of places with my early pacing mistake. Overall, I was still happy with a sub 28 minute 1.2 mile swim.

The Bike
The first few miles of the bike is when I started to realize it might be a painful day. Even my intentional effort to spin easily over the first few miles of flat roads, the residual muscle soreness was still very present from Saturday's effort. I tried to get into a steady rhythm and eventually got into a groove and did my best to not work the leg muscles too hard.

I did go through several bouts of doubt as to how I would respond on the run. I tried not to let too many negative thoughts build up about what the run when going to be like if I had sore muscles from going easy on the bike. I was thankful that I did some reading about David Goggins and his perspective on dealing with pain and suffering while racing.

I also kept repeating to myself one of my favorite perspectives on keeping a positive attitude: that nothing we do or feel has any inherent meaning, only the meaning we give it. I could either commiserate with myself about the running pain I was anticipating, or, figure out a way to embrace it and help to feed my drive to finish.

The Run
Thankfully, I managed not to commiserate. However, I did suffer. With every stride my muscles ached but I was able to maintain my nutrition and hydration so that the only thing I had to do was focus on blocking out the leg pain and keep putting one leg in front of the other.

One thing I did better in the race than any other that I can remember is get hyper-focused in the present moment. Typically in longer races, my mind is racing with everything from calculating my pace to watching my heart rate. I have a hard time finding that place I can usually get to in a training run, where a 2 hour run is done before I know it. This race was different. As much as I hurt, I never walked and there were several points where I didn't really remember any details about the previous mile or two.

I do remember virtually every step of the last two miles. I saw the mile 11 marker on the road, my energy level felt good and my hydration felt good, so I went as hard as I could the race of the race. It hurt so so much, but if you are a reader of this blog, then you know about my first and only DNF six weeks earlier, and finishing this race (the 2nd in 2 days) became what I perceived as an emotional must.

As I crossed the line I could feel the lump in my throat grow and eyes start to well up. My wife and son were waiting for me at the line and I couldn't hold it back any longer as I gave each of them a huge hug. I know they didn't care whether or not I DNF'd in Lake Placid, however, they had both sacrificed so much to let me train for my races this year that I was super motivated to finish this race and be able to hug them at the end. Something I wanted to do so badly in Lake Placid but never got the chance to.

A couple of good friends, Paul and Tony, were also there at the line. It was especially good to see them both because they were also in Lake Placid. I had spent the equivalent of several days training with Paul preparing for the event (and he had an incredible inaugural Ironman performance). I think he had a unique perspective on how disappointing Lake Placid was for me and how satisfying it was to finish the Pumpkin Challenge.

My triathlon journey has taught me some valuable lessons this year. I'm expecting next year's journey will be just as valuable!

The end is in sight

Three days to go until my last triathlon of the year, the Great Pumpkin Challenge. A sprint distance race on Saturday followed by a 1/2 Iron distance on Sunday. My original race schedule for the year didn't include any racing after Ironman Lake Placid, but after a DNF at that race I signed up for the back to back races.

My Son asked me why I was doing this event, which caught me off guard a bit. He's seen me do several races including 2 Ironmans, several 1/2 Ironmans and several marathons so it stumped me why he found signing up for this race so strange. But, I told him straight up that it was an attempt to redeem my season and that I didn't want a DNF to be how it ended.

Had I not signed up for that race I probably would have been a blob on the couch for the rest of the summer. Knowing I had one more major challenge for the year has gotten me out the door to train, even after what has been a very long season that started on January 1.

I've had a hard time staying motivated over the past few weeks but the in the last few days my excitement and desire to race has really grown. I've been reading David Goggins Blog for some motivation. Read about him if you can - he's an incredibly driven person with a perspective on suffering in endurance sports like nothing I've ever seen. His perspective has helped on many of my recent long training sessions.

Yes, I'm looking forward to a break from the intense training schedule. BUT, my mind is swirling with ideas about what's the next endurance challenge. Any ideas...

Ironman Lake Placid Race Report: The Day After

It's been almost four weeks since Ironman but it seems like much longer. I've gone to start this post several times but for some reason it's been tough to find a way to wrap the race report up, which is ironic, because Monday after the race was arguably the most fulfilling days of the of the weekend.

I've been drawn to using athletic events to raise money since I did my very first triathlon six years ago (has it only been seven years?!). I've said here before that triathlon is an inherently selfish sport, especially given the training demands of the longer distance races. I feel incredibly grateful to have the opportunity to participate and I think this is what has driven me to give back in some way.

In the case of Ironman, there is a very sophisticated program set up in the form of the Janus Charity Challenge. I participated in the program during my first Ironman and helped to raise over $115,000 for a local Habitat for Humanity chapter. This year my cause was Bretton Woods Adaptive and we raised $41,500, which earned an additional $4,000 donation from Janus Investments.

A side benefit to participating in this program, especially if you are one of the top fundraisers (we were 4th this year) is that you and your family receive VIP treatment during the Monday award ceremony. Besides being recognized on stage with the other Janus Charity Challenge participants in front of a couple of thousand athletes and guests, my family and myself were in the VIP seating area and had the opportunity to sit with such pros as Michael Lovato, Hillary Biscay and Paula Newby Fraser. Though one of the best parts was being able to sit with and catch up with Carol.

Carol is a fellow Janus athlete and has participated in the program for several years. She does an incredible job fundraising (this year she raised over $400k for her organization) and is one of the kindest and most genuine people I've met. She won this year's Janus Charity Challenge, as she also did in 2006, the first year I participated. One of the thing's that draws me to triathlon is the people. Carol is a perfect example of that and it was great to be able to see and catch up with her again this year.

This year's Ironman was an incredible ride. A friend sent me an e-mail after the race with some incredibly inspiring words. She wrote "...this destination that you've come to has meaning and adds more depth and experience to your life, and allows you to reflect on so many things you might not have if the out come were different."

A DNF was never an option that day, it just wasn't something that I thought about. However, just as my friend wrote, since it happened there are so many things that have I have gained a deeper about. In the end they are all reasons for me to continue to be grateful for the opportunity I have to participate in endurance sports.

What's next? The mind is swirling with ideas! Stay tuned...

Ironman Lake Placid Race Report: Run

You may have already read the end result of my run. But, I wanted to cover in more detail the time leading up to the pre-mature end and if you'd like to read the details, they were posted the day after the race.

For how the race ended, I felt surprising good on the start of the run. Once I got off the bike I walked briskly to the transition area. I had just ridden 112 miles, and yes the legs were fatigued, but it definitely felt like all the long rides and hill training I had done for the past 7 months had paid off. The idea of running a marathon was still a little daunting, but seemed very possible. And, I finished in about 20 minutes faster than my goal time. This gave me some extra fluff time on the run to try and reach my time goal of breaking 13 hours.

Transition went smoothly and I was in and out much quicker than my 2006 race. I remember thinking that this gives me an extra few minutes to do the marathon and still make my goal time.

One of the best moments of the race was heading out of the transition tent for the run. Just after exiting the transition tent I saw Amy and Connor. I hadn't seen them for over 6 1/2 hours so it was a nice emotional boost for me. As soon as you leave the tent there are spectators everywhere lining the streets. It's like this for the first 3 or 4 miles of the race which makes it hard not to go out too fast because of the adrenaline, but I stayed conservative and tried to just keep a steady pace.

Once you pass the crowd lined streets of the first several miles there is an out-and-back section after a left hand turn onto River Road, which as the name suggests, spends most of the time following alongside the Ausable River. It's a winding road and as my buddy Paul puts it, you kind of feel like your in Groundhog Day. After a while, every bend you go around looks the same as the other and your not quite sure when you'll get back.

I still felt pretty good heading out for the first time on River Road. Though this section of the course becomes mentally challenging. It's flat for the most part, however, except for the aid stations there are virtually no spectators and for me its when the demons start to come out which started at about mile 10 of the run.

I didn't quite understand why I was starting to feel a little mentally beat down. Of course I felt physically beat up, but I had been training for seven months and had put several 15 - 20 mile runs in the training log, most were after a four to six hour bike ride the previous day.

At about mile 11, the first loop back through town begins which is about 3 miles total. I went through some ups and downs during this time but mostly I began to feel myself sliding to a place I was beginning to get nervous about.

In two previous races, a half Ironman and after my 2006 Ironman Lake Placid finish, I ended up once in the hospital and once in the medical tent after passing out at the finish line. Both times dehydration was the culprit. I remember the feeling I had at both races before passing out and shades of that same feeling were creeping in - only halfway through the marathon. Not a great sign. The feeling is hard to explain but it's a groggy feeling where I go through waves of dizzyness and loss of focus.

I'm a pretty heavy sweater and as a result try to stay topped up on my hydration. I didn't think about it at the time (though I've been obsessing about it ever since the race), but even though I pee'd a couple of times on the bike, I hadn't kept close track of how much I was drinking. For a humid and warm day I should have been taking in about 24 - 30 oz of water per hour. Honestly, I don't know how much water I had during that 6 1/2 hour ride. I remember finishing my first two 24 oz bottles in the first 3 hours, which already put me behind. After that, I was using the 20 oz bottles they gave us on course and I'm sure I didn't go through as many as I should have.

And so, after what I remember being my last relatively good section at about mile 14 to 15 of the run, things started to go down hill rapidly. On the run I generally can't take in as much water as I can on the bike. I was shooting for 24 oz per hour but was no where near this. The worse I felt the harder it was to taken in both nutrition and hydration. After mile 15 I can't even recall what I took in for either calories or hydration. Again, not a great sign.

The rest of the race is pretty foggy. One of the last clear memories is seeing one of the GSTC support crew at the 21 mile marker. I remember he suggested that I try jogging 100 yards and walking 100 yards and I told him I was done running. I was completely out of gas.

The rest of the story has already been told here.

I'm incredibly grateful for the support of friends and family prior to race day, on race day and since race day. I've been humbled by the comments of support by my familiy plus new and old friends which has helped put the whole experience into perspective. Without this support, I have to admit that it would be significantly harder to deal with.

Most people who really know me would describe me as a pretty low key guy who doesn't let a lot of things bother me. For the most part I've always had the attitude that what's done is done - let's move on with the situation as it stands and deal with it. Intellectually, that is the easy part, however the challenging part is accepting that logic emotionally. This DNF experience has been tough. Whereas I could normally be pretty disciplined about accepting situations for what they were and moving on, for some reason in this situation, my discipline has been really tested.

Besides asking myself what I could have done differently, the biggest question I'm asking myself is did I give up too easily? Many friends have told me how inspired they were just to see me do the training and make it as far as I did. I'm truly grateful for that and don't want to come across the wrong way. To most, getting pulled off the course by EMT's after 135 miles can be defined as not giving up too easily. My intent here is not to sound tough or somehow inflate my ego. Nevertheless, I'm constantly asking myself that question - could I have gotten up off the bumper of that ambulance and gutted it out to the end. Not knowing the answer really bothers me sometimes.

I'm so thankful to the many friends that have reminded me of my own words that I use as the intro to my blog - "The journey is more important than the destination". The interpretation I'm trying to emotionally solidify for myself from the experience: I learned more about how deep I can go physically, physiologically, mentally and emotionally on July 26th, 2009. Use that experience and apply it to every other part of my life. I know, in time, this is the meaning that will stick.

The rest of the long weekend ended on a high note at the awards banquet the next day as a result of the Janus Charity Challenge. More on that soon....

Where is the line?

If anyone knows where it is please let me know.

You may have seen me write before that triathlon, especially Ironman, is an inherently selfish sport. It requires the commitment of your family almost as much as the athlete. Here's my dilemma:

Where do you draw the line between pursuing individual goals and walking away for the family?

If you are a regular reader than you know about my recent result at Ironman Lake Placid. In many ways I've accepted my DNF and no doubt have already learned a lot about myself and what I can use from that race in other races and in other areas of my life.

The support and well wishes I've received for just getting to the starting line have been overwhelming and have themselves been inspirational. But at the end of the day, I didn't make it to the finish line and several times day since race day I think back to what I can remember about those last couple of miles on the course and wonder could I have made it if I just tried to keep going. Not knowing the answer is sometimes tortuous. I want to redeem myself, to myself.

On the flip side, my wife and son had a challenging day also. I think they both love the excitement that comes with the Ironman event. But at the same time getting up early and trying to navigate Lake Placid with thousands of other spectators plus the stress of seeing me come in from the course in an ambulance is not something anyone wants to experience often. Is it fair of me to want to sign up for another Ironman and put my family through all that again?

And so goes my search for the line. I know I won't find it right away. I suppose this is also part of the journey and just searching for the line we'll all learn a little something about ourselves.

So again I say, if anyone knows where the line is, please let me know.

T minus 12 hours

It's just after 7 PM on July 25th. The cannon will go off in almost exactly 12 hours and I can hardly believe it!

There aren't many things we do in life in which we focus so intently on a single activity or goal. For the past six months I've put in anywhere from 15 - 25 hours per week training for a single event. Now that it is here it's nearly impossible to explain the range of emotions I've experienced in the last several hours leading up to right now.

Maybe I'll make an attempt to put them into writing during the free time I'll be working to fill once the event is over. For now, the one emotion I'll share is the incredible sense of gratitude I feel, mostly towards my wife and son, but also to the rest of my family, for the support. Triathlon is an inherently selfish sport that isn't possible without the support of those around you and I hope to sufficiently express to them how thankful I am for that. I have no doubt the gratitude I feel for their support will pull me through more than one of several expected low points tomorrow.

When asked by friends and family my reaction to finishing my first Ironman in 2006 the first response that came to me was that it was one of the best and worst days of my life. In one day I experienced an incredible range of emotions, often all within a few minutes of each other while trying to find the strength to push through the emotional and physical pain to reach the finish line.

Knowing that I'll likely have a similar experience tomorrow is difficult to put into words, so, rather than try I'll end it here, put on my "running playlist" on my iPod and work on getting a little bit of sleep before my 12 hours are up.

Five Lessons Ironman Triathlon can teach us about owning a business

This is a cross post from the other blog I write for. As you'll see, the content is right in line with this blog.

On July 26th your Direct Capital blogger will be competing in Ironman Lake Placid for the 2nd time. The Ironman triathlon consists of a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike and 26.2 mile run and has been called the toughest single day endurance event.

Before joining Direct Capital, I started and owned a couple of businesses which gave me a first hand understanding of the challenges involved with such a venture. Much like the Ironman, you need to have great endurance to handle the ups and downs of owning your own business. Having spent many hours on the road training, my mind has many times reflected on the similarities between these two situations. I decided to put “pen to paper” and share with you five lessons I learned while training for Ironman that are just as applicable to the business owner.

1. Have a goal

For a lot of people their goal is their “why”. It’s why you take on the risks and challenges you do. It’s why you get up every morning. Whether your business is struggling in our current economy, or you’ve found a way to thrive, what is it that drives you to push forward? Signing up for the Ironman (or probably any type of endurance event) crystallized this effect for me. With a full work week in addition to a family at home, finding time to train for an event like this is challenging, but not impossible. It means getting up at 4 AM most mornings to fit my training in so I can be at the office by 8 AM. I can almost guarantee that if I didn’t have the goal of finishing the Ironman, I wouldn’t have been up at 4 AM.

If you haven’t already done so, develop your business goals. Once they are defined, it is inevitable that they will help get you out of bed on those tough mornings.

2. Be passionate about what you do

I’m passionate about triathlons. Some combination of characteristics drew me into the sport. There is something about the business you built that you are passionate about. Identify what that is. Is it the industry? Your customers? Your products? What your products do for your customers? Once you have developed a goal, identify what inspired you in the first place and why you are passionate about it. Being passionate about a clear goal is an unstoppable combination.

3. Be Disciplined

I remember when completing a 5k road race seemed like a huge challenge to me. My perspective has changed and I believe that virtually anyone can complete an Ironman. Whether you are old, young, able-bodied or disabled, everyone that chooses to attempt the event can find out the basic principles of what it takes to finish the race. Once you know the principles then all it takes is the discipline to execute. The secrets to becoming a successful business owner are not all that secret. Once you have your idea, the principles of sales, marketing, financial management, etc. are well documented. Just like training for Ironman, what makes the difference is the discipline to follow the plan. Attention for our time is constantly being pulled in several directions. Discipline is what keeps us moving in the right direction.

4. Have flexibility

Even though I’m pretty strict about my triathlon training plan, there have been several occasions in which the pool was closed, the weather kept me from a bike ride or a family obligation took priority. Just because I had to miss a workout or shorten a training session, the goal of finishing the Ironman never changed. I made adjustments and kept moving forward. If you are currently a business owner, you probably already understand that adjustments are virtually always required even with the most well thought out plans. Business owners need the discipline just mentioned to keep focused on the end goal and the flexibility to adjust to the roadblocks and challenges that inevitably will get in the way.

5. Build a team around you

My idea of endurance sports before the triathlon was 5k road races, meaning, when I signed up for Ironman, I didn’t have any idea how I was going to do it but knew I needed help. So, I went out and got a coach. There are several examples of people who excel, or are the best in their field, and still have coaches and teams supporting their efforts. Even if you are a 1-person business you may already have a team around you in the form of an accountant, attorney, etc.

Our Finance Managers are part of their clients’ teams. Before recommending one of our financing, capital and credit products, or setting up a vendor financing program for a customer we first have a conversation about their business and base our advice on what will serve them best.

What business lessons have you learned from your latest athletic endeavor?

Dear Friends

The following is a letter sent to friends and family asking for their support in raising money for Bretton Woods Adaptive.

Dear Friends,

Almost one year ago I received the gift of an entry to Ironman Lake Placid taking place on July 26th. For the past six months I've been training for the race and also trying to pay that gift forward. I'm writing to ask for your help in doing so by joining me in raising money for Bretton Woods Adaptive (BWA). If I am one of the top fundraisers at the race in Lake Placid, the Bretton Woods program could receive up to an extra $10,000. Your donation, no matter the amount, could very possibly put BWA in the position to secure extra funds for their worthy organization.

The BWA Sports Program is a year-round program offering recreational opportunities to people of all ages regardless of disability. My Dad, who is a polio survivor with very limited use of his legs, began skiing (among other outdoor activities) only a decade ago. For most of his life he did not realize that there were opportunities like this available to him. He has thrown himself into ensuring that others do not have to wait as long as he did to enjoy the thrill of the outdoors by helping to develop and enhance the BWA Sports Program.

I've heard countless stories of how this organization has made a huge impact on the people it serves and experienced some firsthand also. If you'd like to read about a couple of them, I've written about them in my blog. Please consider reading about BWA and if you are inspired by the work they are doing then make a donation and/or spread the word by forwarding this e-mail before race day, July 26th. Whether it's $10 or $100, every bit helps!

Donate here or follow BWA on Facebook here.

Read more about Bretton Woods Adaptive here.

Follow our updates on race weekend here.

Track progress on race day here.

Thank you so much for the support and helping to spread the word!!

The day I got to help Martin

On a beautiful day last fall I was fortunate enough to be part of a hike up Mt. Willard in Crawford Notch, NH. This was not a normal hike. From the trail head to the top was only about 1 1/2 miles with an elevation gain of about 800 feet. What made it such an incredible hike is being part of a team that took Martin to the top.

Martin used to be an avid outdoorsman doing everything from hiking, to fishing and hunting. Martin was diagnosed with ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease, in 2002 and now is confined to a wheelchair with no use of his muscles with the exception of his eyes and a great smile. He can't speak, eat or breath on his own. Fortunately he has an incredible support system of family and friends to help him. I was grateful to be part of that support system that day in helping him realize a goal of his, to do a climb in the White Mountains through Bretton Woods Adaptive (BWA).

It will be difficult to express how the day went in words. It is an experience that would be so much richer if you could be there. I was able to get a few photos which will help paint the picture.

We met at the trailhead right next to train depot by AMC's Crawford House. We got there around 9:30 AM. Martin and his family arrived at about 10AM and after almost 2 hours of preparation we started up the trail.

While watching Martin get prepped for this excursion, I found myself trying to imagine what life for his family must be like on a daily basis if we needed 2 hours to prepare for a 3 mile hike. We needed to transfer Martin from his full time wheelchair to a rig that would help us help him get up the mountain. Besides the ventilator, spare batteries for the ventilator, oxygen tank, suction gear (Martin can't swallow so periodically the nurse would suction out his mouth) and medications, the family also brought a small lift that assisted in transferring him from one chair to the other.

We used a specially designed "wheelchair" that looked more like a wheelbarrow. It was actually a metal device with four handles that allowed Martin to lay in a relaxed sitting position in which we could secure his mostly limp body for the climb up the mountain.

There were six of us that rotated through four positions on the chair - one on each side for stability plus one of the front and back. It was a definite challenge carrying Martin's limp body plus the wheelchair up the mountain but the expression you could see in Martin's eyes and smile were worth the effort and then some.

I'm not going to try and describe the experience because I don't think words can do it justice. I've included a slideshow at the beginning of this post with photos from the day. Please help to support more efforts like these by donating to Bretton Woods Adaptive.

The Value of Competition

Most reading the title of this post will probably first assume it is about competition against others. That's natural, and it's what I normally do when thinking about competition. But I got a different perspective this past weekend while attending my son's track meet.

It was the first real track meet I had been to. His bi-weekly practices were at times more like organized chaos and there was never the kind of formality like a real meet with starting guns, timers, announcers, etc.

Admittedly, I was a little skeptical of spending the entire day at the track when my Son's 3 events would take him a total about about 90 seconds. However, any opportunity to spend time with my family is a good one so I went looking forward mostly to that part of the day. However, I came away from the day with a lot more.

I got drawn into watching kids from 9 - 13 years old compete in all kinds of running events from the 50 meter dash to the 1600 meter run. Why? I absolutely loved watching these kids, including my son, digging deep within themselves and putting out incredible efforts. You could see in their faces the determination and focus going into their efforts and some were clearly turning themselves inside out to finish their race as fast as they possibly could. It didn't seem to matter if the kid was first or sixth, the same level of effort went into the competition. What a great life lesson!

And that is why I will do everything in my power as a parent to make sure my son has opportunities to compete. Yes, the competition with the kid in the next lane or against the other team provides good lessons and perspectives for kids to learn early. But, the bigger lesson in my opinion is kids learning how to compete with themselves. In other words, making that internal connection what it feels like to push beyond what you originally thought possible. What better physiological lesson to learn early and often as a kid?

These lessons don't need to be learned in traditional competitive sports. That competition happens in all kinds of activities. The dancer who won't give up until he or she nails the move they've been practicing. The musician that repeats a piece over and over again until it sounds just right. They are all competing with themselves, trying to turn out their best performance, just like the kids on the track.

My son didn't qualify for the State finals this weekend, but he beat his previous times in the 100 and 200 meter sprint. The lesson I know he learned from that effort about how to compete with himself is the best result I could hope for as a Dad.

Congrats Buddy!

What was I thinking?!

My (far from done) list of training thoughts.

A friend of mine from work, Brett, recently asked me what I think about during all my training time. It was a hard question to answer, not because I haven't considered that question even before he asked it, but because the range of things that go through my mind on a 6 hour bike ride, 3 hour run or 5 hour race is so broad.

My thoughts have a very stream of consciousness feel to them so I as I try to give you a sense of what I'm thinking, so I'm guessing it will come across that way. Well Brett, here's an attempt to capture what I think about while training and racing, even though it's a very small portion of all the thoughts that scroll across my mind.

• Why did I sign up for Ironman again?
  
• Am I going fast enough?
• Am I going slow enough?
  
• Is my heart rate too high?
• Is my heart rate too slow?
• I wonder what Amy and Connor are doing?
• Am I being a bad husband and father by spending all this time training?
• How could I be a better husband and father.
• How am I going to fit the next training into my schedule?
• What a beautiful sunrise.
• How cool is it that I saw a deer/moose/falcon/rabbit/snake/frog while out on my ride/run.
• Should I go this way or that way?
• I must be one of the luckiest people alive to be able to do this right now.
• What the hell am I doing out here in the rain/dark/heat/cold/snow?
• I bet that not many other triathletes are out here in the rain/dark/heat/cold/snow? I'll have a leg up on them when race season comes.
• Oh crap, I forgot to pay that bill.
• How am I going to pay that bill?
• When is this f'in hill going to end?
• Why did I sign up for Ironman again?
• It would really suck if I crashed going down this hill at 40 MPH.
• When am I going to have time to shave my legs before this weekend's long ride?
• I need to pick up the pace if I want to hit my goal time.
• I'm feeling really great, I should pick up the pace a bit.
• I'm feeling like s*!t, I better slow it down a bit.
• I could do a 7 minute per mile pace to if I weighed 150.
• I can't afford to get a bike tune up, get new race wheels, get new tires - which one can I do?
• How am I going to fit 23 hours of training in next week, go to Connor's track meet, go to Connor's track practice, do my share around the house, see my wife for more than 15 minutes?
• If I don't finish this workout until 7:15, what should I have for breakfast so that I can still get to work on time?
• What should I bring to work for food so that I get enough carbs and calories before tonight's workout?
• Why did I sign up for Ironman again?
• All I need is within me now
  
• Why did that idiot have to toss their cigarette out of the window?
• Why did that idiot have to pass me so close and almost run me off the road?
• What should I write about for my next blog post at work?
• I can't wait to go camping with Connor after the Ironman.
• I wish I wasn't training and took the family camping instead.
• What does Connor think of me spending all this time training? Does he see that I set a goal and taking steps to reach it or does he just know I'm not at home?
• Perfect circles (when I'm on the bike to help me focus on a good pedal stroke)
  
• What does Amy think of me spending all of this time training? Does she see that I set a goal and taking steps to reach it or does she just know I'm not at home?
• Why did I decide to do the Ironman, again?
• I think it would be cool to do a cross-country ride on my bike.
• I wonder if I could do a 100 mile run.
• Why did I sign up for Ironman again?
• If I can just make it to that mailbox I'll let myself walk for a minute.
• Don't think about having to do 10 miles, just keep running to the next telephone pole.
• Wow, I'm feeling pretty good for having been out here this long.
• This is not going to be a good workout. Get ready to suffer for a while.
• What is that pain in my knee/ankle/shoulder/chest/foot/calf/hamstring?
• I think I want to try bike racing.
• Lean forward, good arm swing (when I'm running to help focus on good form)
  
• I love this song!
• I hope that I can finish Ironman and not pass out.
• I hope that I can stay up until midnight on race day to watch the last of the racers finish.
• I hope that I'm not one of the racers that takes until midnight to finish.
• Is Twitter really going to last?
• Maybe I should have stuck it out in real estate.
• I'm so glad that I got out of real estate when I did.
• If someone with Lou Gehrig's disease can have the courage to ski down a mountain, then I shouldn't complain about finishing this workout/race.
• What can I do to raise more money for Bretton Woods Adaptive.
• Even though people know I'm training for a race, do they really know what it takes to be able to finish this race?
• I wish there wasn't so much litter.
  
• Why did I sign up for Ironman again?
• Should I have a shot of gel now or wait another 15 minutes?
• Man I have to pee, where on the route is private enough that I can jump into the woods?
• What junk food am I going to have once Ironman is over?
• Will I be able to get my weight down to my goal before race day?
• Should I sign up for Ironman again next year?
• Where am I going to go for my 100 mile ride this weekend?
• How can anyone watch NASCAR? And why would you pay money to go watch it live?
• What am I going to do with the 15 - 20 hours I'll have back after Ironman is over?
• Man, this Kings of Leon song is mesmerizing!
• I wonder if I'll start to cry again as I approach the finish line in Lake Placid.
• Should I really tell my co-workers on Monday when they ask what I did this weekend that I ran 15 miles and rode 110 miles? Does that come across as bragging?
• Maybe I should take up a musical instrument, I've always wanted to learn to play the piano.
• How many calories do I need to take in?
• How am I going to take in enough calories after this workout? Can I really eat 4,000 more before the end of the day?
  
• Why did I sign up for Ironman again?

Triathlon's hidden expenses

Triathlon is not a cheap sport. Even if you stick to shorter sprint distance races, and your starting from scratch, by the time you buy a bike, running shoes, training and racing gear and a pool pass you've likely eclipsed the $1,500 to $2,000 mark. Oh yeah, you still haven't registered for the race which will run another $50 - $100.

If you decide to jump up to the 1/2 Ironman or Ironman distance then you end up in a whole other league of expenses, many of which we never consider before signing up.

There are the direct fees like race entry.  Just for the privilege of suffering for 12 - 14 hours at Ironman it will cost you $525 to register. Though I'm telling myself this is a bargain because if I break it down by the hour it's only about $40/hour based on my finish time (if I go even slower the bargain gets even better!).  Compare that to a sprint race I did last year that cost $80 to register and I was done in a little over an hour - that's twice the cost per hour! That's how I justify racing Ironman anyway.

Here are a few examples of the hidden expenses that I've experienced:

• Food - Last week my training hours hit 12.5 which works out to about 10,000 calories. I'm not a small guy and my basal metabolic rate is about 1,900 calories per day, or another 13,300 for the week bringing the week's total to 23,300 calories I need to replenish. Thankfully for my wallet, I'm also trying to drop a few pounds before race day so maybe I only replenished 20,000 calories that week.  Just to make sure I stay healthy with the increased workload I also take supplements from Hammer Nutrition which are not cheap.

• Pool fees - At only $5 to $10 per visit it doesn't seem to be a big deal. Until you multiply that times 3 - 4 swim workouts a week.

• Laundry - Especially over the winter this one can really add up.  Today is a typical example of 1 day's laundry.  This morning I ran, and it was cold, really cold.  I wore 1 pair of socks, a bottom base layer, running pants, a long sleeve top base layer, wind vest, long sleeve top layer, balaclava, a hat, a pair of mittens and a pair of gloves. this was followed by a swim at the pool later in the day which only produced a swim suit and towel.  Two a day workouts are not unusual for most of the week so needless to say we do a whole lot of laundry throughout the week (thanks Amy!)
• Travel - Conveniently for the Ironman race in Lake Placid all of the hotels double their rates and require a four night minimum, so, you know that doesn't help any. They'll be one to two training trips this spring to Lake Placid.  Thankfully I know several people who are also racing and we'll be able to carpool and split a hotel room. I'm just praying that gas prices stay relatively low!

I'm afraid to go into any more examples for fear of talking myself out of doing triathlon any longer.

What expenses am I missing?

Photo credit: Jenn_jenn

One reason I run

I went out for a run early on Monday morning.

I missed my long run on Sunday so I decided to get up early and fit in the 10 miles I wanted to do before work.  As seems to always be the case recently, it had snowed more than expected the night before and was still snowing lightly as I went out the door.  The main roads were plowed  but some of the side roads hadn't been touched.

It was slow going as my feet seemingly spent as much time slipping backwards as they did moving forward.  About 8 miles into the run I was on a back road and by this time the snow had stopped and the moon was visible, although it was only a sliver this time of month. Other than the moonlight and my headlamp, it was completely dark, I hadn't seen a street light in a couple of miles.

I came to a stretch of road that hadn't been touched by a plow and only had one set of tire tracks in it, which I was trying to run in.  There were a few trees but mostly it was an open field. Even though I was getting pretty cold and just wanted to finish the run, I stopped for what was probably just a minute or so, and took in the silence.

It was probably 5 in the morning at this point, fresh snow on the ground, a beautiful moon and complete silence.  How often does someone get to experience that?  I know I don't very often and it is usually when I'm out running that I experience these moments of silence which is typically followed by feelings of gratitude.

That's one reason I run.

Photo credit: Cricce

Winter distractions

It's been a while...here's the story.

Trying to relive the glory days.
In an effort to re-live my glory days playing high school basketball, I participated in my high school alumni game over Thanksgiving weekend. As I was diving for the loose ball out of bounds I remember thinking to myself that I should have just let it go. But alas, I didn't and I could feel a sharp pain in my rib as I landed.

The ER Visit
Seven hours later at about 3am I was leaving the ER having been through an x-ray and CT scan to make sure there was no internal damage or broken ribs. While it was just diagnosed as a contusion, it still meant 3 - 4 weeks of recovery time before really being able to do any running or swimming.

For the first 10 days or so, even riding a spin bike or being on the trainer was painful. And sneezing or coughing, forget about it!  After about 15 or 16 days things started to get back to normal.  No running or swimming yet but I've been able to ride the trainer regularly again and do some lower body strength work.

The distractions

Life has still been crazy with the reduced training workload.  In the past 3 weeks we've had an ice storm, snow storm, layoffs at work (thankfully not my position, but I'm busier as a result), and the general hysteria generated by the holiday season.

The snow and holiday distractions have been good. I just got back in from playing in the snow with Connor and looking forward to celebrating Christmas with friends and family. The ice storm and work layoffs have not been so good but we plug along....

Ready to train

While the forced training has left time for other things, I'm really looking forward to beginning formal Ironman training.  The plan is to begin on January 1st.  As of today there are 217 days to go!

You become a product of your environment

I met up with Paul and Tony last night for a couple of drinks.  I've known Paul for a couple of years now and first met him through the Granite State Triathlon Club. Since then we've trained for several races together including the Manchester Marathon, Patriot Half Ironman and currently we are both training for Ironman Lake Placid.

We've had some long training sessions including some mutli-hour bike rides and runs.  I can't even count the number of topics you cover when on a three hour run. So, inevitably when we get together outside of training or exchange e-mails the topic of triathlon will come up, whether it is a tough workout, a cool new bike or upcoming race expectations. 

My training has been way off for the past week due to an injury (rib injury that will take 4 weeks to recover from!) and I've gotten frustrated from the lack of activity I'm relegated to. I've felt my motivation slowly going away.  However I think I've become conditioned to think about triathlon when I interact with Paul. After hanging out with Paul and Tony last night (and yes we talked triathlon) I woke up this morning with a much more optimistic outlook on my injury and upcoming training in the next couple of months.

Paul is part of my triathlon environment which led to the title of this post - you become a product of your environment.  I believe this statement is true no matter how you look at it.  

It may seem that there are exceptions to this.  There are story's like Oprah's, Art Berg's and people you meet everyday. You have probably met people yourself who after hearing their story think, "how does this person have such an optimistic outlook on life?" These people "beat the odds" of a tough environment only to become successful, in whatever way you want to define success.  They are incredible examples of being pro-active in creating positive definitions about events in their life, they find the positive in a situation, use it to their advantage and embody one of my favorite phrases - 'no event has any inherent meaning, only the meaning we give it'. 

However, even those people we consider exceptions to the rule: "you become a product of your environment" changed their environment in one way or another.  It may have been their physical environment; maybe they chose to find a new cirlce of friends, move to a different place or find a different job.  However in all cases it was their mental environment they changed first which likely led to a change in their physical environment.

Looking outside these seemingly extreme examples (I think most people have their own version of a challenging environment) I believe everyone can use this belief to their advantage.

What would you change about your life if you believed that you were at least in some part a product of your environment? If you had the choice, why wouldn't you create the best environment possible to reach whatever goals and dreams you had? If you can't immediately change your physical environment, there is no one stopping you from changing your mental environment.

What are you going to do to or what do you now do to change your environment, mental or physical?

Over the next several weeks and months I'll be getting into more details about my fundraising efforts for the Bretton Woods Adaptive ski program.  In those posts I hope you'll find examples of people who have changed their mental environment, no matter how difficult their situation seemed to be.

Sport specific training

The more years I've spent in triathlon the better I've come to understand the importance of sport specific training.  It's critical that you put the hours and mileage into swimming, biking and running in order to perform your best on race day.

Last night I was brutally reminded of the importance of sport specific training.

I played basketball in high school  and would consider myself an average to above average player.  Every year my alma mater has alumni game in which the "old timers" (those who graduate more than 5 years ago - I just had my 20th HS reunion) play the Junior Varsity team.  I've played off and on over the years depending on which of my friends were also in town.

This year's game was last night and even though none of my high school buddies were in town, I decided to go play.  I just did the Green Mountain marathon the beginning of last month and I've been running, biking and swimming pretty regularly since the race.  What I'm saying is that I'm in pretty good shape and figured I would be able to run circles around those 14 and 15 year old JV players.

The harsh reality of my sport specific training up to this point is that I was not prepared for the short sprints and starting/stopping nature of playing basketball.  To say nothing of the fact that I hadn't picked up a basketball in several months (which also showed dramatically!).

If I go to play at next year's game, I'm going to make sure that I get a little sport specific training in before game day!

Life lessons

I often think while I'm training the value I find in the planning, discipline and execution of preparing for an event.  I'd love to put it all down in this blog but unfortunately no one pays me to write this and I have to balance my desire to write about my experiences with my desire to have an income.

An old high school friend (thanks Diana!) turned me on to an blog posting that does a great job summarizing the life lessons one triathlete learned while training for his triathlon.  It's worth a read:

http://zenhabits.net/2008/11/six-life-lessons-learned-from-triathlon-training/

Indian Head Trail

Indian Head Trail

Yesterday I did a hike with Suzan and some of the athletes she coached this year.  We did a relatively short hike up the Indian Head Trail in Lincoln to Mount Pemigewasset.  We ended up with a perfect day that started out in the mid-30's but climbed to the low-40's by the time we got to the top.

Last year Suzan had a similar gathering but we did a trail run.  Having  just finished the Green Mountain Marathon a couple of weeks ago I was secretly glad that she wasn't doing a run this year, but rather an easy hike.  Or so I thought.

It ended up being more of a power walk than an easy hike.  I don't think Suzan could help herself - she normally either power walks the trail, or runs up it.

I knew many of the others on the hike but it was great to catch up with some other athletes and talk tri.  We were treated with the pleasure of seeing Suzan's new bike.  A Guru Crono with customized purple paint job and lettering. I didn't get a picture but here is the model.  

The afternoon was topped off with lunch back at Suzan's house before the drive back to the NH seacoast.  I ended up being more beat than I thought I would and crashed on the couch for the rest of the afternoon.

Seeing the bike, I got the urge to get out on mine so I'm hoping to get a ride in tomorrow even though it is supposed to be pretty chilly.

Hangin' at the playground

Topped off with a visit to The Bagelry