If anyone knows where it is please let me know.
You may have seen me write before that triathlon, especially Ironman, is an inherently selfish sport. It requires the commitment of your family almost as much as the athlete. Here's my dilemma:
Where do you draw the line between pursuing individual goals and walking away for the family?
If you are a regular reader than you know about my recent result at Ironman Lake Placid. In many ways I've accepted my DNF and no doubt have already learned a lot about myself and what I can use from that race in other races and in other areas of my life.
The support and well wishes I've received for just getting to the starting line have been overwhelming and have themselves been inspirational. But at the end of the day, I didn't make it to the finish line and several times day since race day I think back to what I can remember about those last couple of miles on the course and wonder could I have made it if I just tried to keep going. Not knowing the answer is sometimes tortuous. I want to redeem myself, to myself.
On the flip side, my wife and son had a challenging day also. I think they both love the excitement that comes with the Ironman event. But at the same time getting up early and trying to navigate Lake Placid with thousands of other spectators plus the stress of seeing me come in from the course in an ambulance is not something anyone wants to experience often. Is it fair of me to want to sign up for another Ironman and put my family through all that again?
And so goes my search for the line. I know I won't find it right away. I suppose this is also part of the journey and just searching for the line we'll all learn a little something about ourselves.
So again I say, if anyone knows where the line is, please let me know.
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3 comments:
Great post...
I wanted to sign up for IMLP 2010, but at this point it would have been over the line for me. I'm hoping that line moves back in the next few years, but only time will tell... and it's tough to predict.
Nike says, There is no finish line. I've been following your blog. I'm orinally from Portsmouth NH living in CO. I want to do IMLP one of these days. But I know what you mean about putting your family through it. I feel so bad that my parents were my support for IMCDA and I didn't realize the stress I put them through. My mom was so scared that I didn't come out of the swim. The elation that I finished seems to have replaced the terror she felt earlier in the day; but who wants to put their loved ones through that....
I love reading your blog and am anxious to see where this triathlon life takes you, and your family.
@mangolds - I'm not in for LP in '10 either. The wait will make the next one that much sweeter!
@Kristen - I love that Nike quote! I don't think I've seen that one before but what a great perspective. LP is a great race! Great course, great town and well supported. Even though your parents were stressed, I also bet they were extremely proud and probably brag about that day to their friends. Thanks for your comments.
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